As you lay besides me
As you lay in bed next to me
I try not to cry, but I cannot stop
As you lay next to me,
You’re blind to see me sobbing right now and I’m glad.
I’m glad you are children that do not understand pain and suffering.
As you lay next to me,
I cover up my face and hold my throat tight to not let out a whimper or a cry that makes me want to scream
As you lay next to me,
playing with your stuffed animals
You don’t see the struggle we are all
Going through.
I’m so happy you can’t see this.
No job
No money
No assurance of the next day.
I feel like I am failing you and your sister.
What I hope to one day tell
You is the happiness we have.
The love and connection we built.
The fun and games we played.
One day I’ll tell you about all the people that helped us.
All the people that gave from their hearts.
All the people that loved without question.
For these kind acts still make me cry every night.
One day I’ll show you the pictures we drew.
The paintings we made.
The crafts we built.
One day I’ll tell you about the togetherness we created
The sharing we learned
The toys we invented.
As you lay here In bed
I want you to know I’ll never understand
What happened to us at this time,
Why ?
How ?
Or what’s to come?
But what I can tell you is that
I’m happy to be here next to you.
Just being here with you right by your side.
Goodnight my children.
One day you will not be as blind.